The Battle of the Bacon, Part 2

This is part 2 of a battle report spanning multiple posts. You can find part 1 here, or go to the main page here.

Dwarf Turn 2

Dwarf Turn 2

The destruction wrought upon Dungrim's Guard had unnerved him to the point where he nearly toppled off his shield. With a cry he halted the unit's advance and instead ordered them to back up in the face of the rapidly advancing Mangler Squig (which already appeared to be chewing on something as it glared balefully at them). The Iron Guard kept pace with them as they stepped back and Dungrim called somewhat desperately for the Grudge Thrower to target the beast. The crew responded swiftly to his orders, however their aim was off once more, and the shot landed closer to the Hammerers than it did the enormous Squig.

The Dwarf centre backs off after its optimistic advance in the first turn

Dungrim's increasingly worried cries for the Thunder Bringers to add their fire-power to stopping the onrushing Squig fell on deaf ears as they instead reformed to face the sudden arrival of the Bored Boyz in their flank. In moments they had resumed their formation with guns lowered, waiting for the charge that would surely come.

The Thunder Bringers ignore the advance of the Mangler Squig in order to reform to face the magically speedy Bored Boyz

Snorri rallies and thumbs his nose at his Savage Orc pursuers

With a glance over his shoulder, Snorri confirmed what his ears and nose had already told him – his Savage Orc pursuers were nowhere near him. Easing back on the stick, he turned his machine back around and prepared for another attack run. Behind him the Organ Gun roared to life once more, targeting the red-painted savages on the hill. A storm of shot was unleashed and it was largely on-target however the incredible resilience of the Orcs coupled with the unreasonable potency of their tattoos saw only a single warrior fall. The crew of the Organ Gun cursed in disbelief before setting about reloading once more. The Quarrellers next to them also set their sights on that unit, and met with marginally more success as they managed to bring down 3 of the Orcs with bolts protruding from their muscular chests.

Da Red Faces slowly start to take casualties

On the other side of the field Borri finally bested his Wolf Rider opponents, hacking down one of them and setting off in pursuit of the sole survivor who finally fled. In his haste he forget the perils overhead however, and his rotor crashed into a tree branch as he commenced his chase. The damage was not critical, but he would need to be more careful. As he corrected his course, the pace of the remaining Wolf Rider proved too great and it eluded his interrupted pursuit.

Borri finally beats some sense into the Wolf Riders, with the survivor breaking and fleeing

Even with the magical cube of elevation, Borri is unable to keep up with the fleeing Wolf Rider

Orc and Goblin Turn 2

Orc and Goblin Turn 2

The Dwarfs were now retreating after their earlier advances, but it was not going to help them. The gap was closing fast and all across the field Orcs roared as they charged headlong at their ancient foes.

The Thunder Bringers find themselves in a world of pain

The Thunder Bringers had prepared themselves for a charge from da Bored Boyz and they were not disappointed as the Orcs casually heeled their mounts into a lumbering charge. Having waited for this moment the Dwarfs fired straight into their midst, however only a single Boar Boy perished to the volley. “Nothin' special,” grunted one of the Orcs as they crashed home the charge. The Dwarfs brought up their shields in response, however just as they gathered their defence, they found themselves beset from another angle as a group of Trolls shambled into their flank. Hastily shouted warnings did little to prepare them for the onslaught that was to come, and though they managed to bring down another of the Bored Boyz with an axe between his eyes (even cross-eyed, he still looked umimpressed), all but one of the Dwarfs fell to the combined fury of the charging boars, lowered spears and rampaging Trolls. The loss of his comrades proved too much for the survivor, who turned to flee only to be run down unceremoniously by the Trolls, whose pursuit nearly carried them into the Grudge Thrower beyond the combat. Da Bored Boyz couldn't be bothered joining the chase, and instead shifted their position very marginally to ensure that the Grudge Thrower's narrow escape would be short-lived.

Ow ow ow ow... Retreat!

RAAARGH! Uh oh...

In the centre Dungrim shouted to his warriors to brace for impact as the monstrous Mangler Squig put on a surprising burst of speed and slammed straight into both the Dungrim's Guard and the Iron Guard next to them. Seeing the impending collision, chortling cries of “Will it blend?!” echoed from the nearby Orcs. The question (if it really was a question) was soon answered as beast crashed into the Dwarf lines. Screams, curses and blood-curdling roars filled the air, along with small pieces of armoured bodies and smashed weaponry. This terrible chorus was soon replaced by groans and stifled cries from the wounded and dying, as Will ploughed out the back of the lines and shook itself to dislodge some of the blood, gore and dismembered body parts clinging to its protruding blades and scaly hide.

Oh dear. 

With admirable fortitude the Dwarfs quickly re-settled their lines, such as they were. No less than seven of the Iron Guard were out of the battle, and of Dungrim's Guard not a single Hammerer remained standing. Dungrim the Lonely stood alone atop his shield, as his alarmed-looking shieldbearers frantically checked themselves to ensure no vital parts were missing.

Who needs a left flank anyway, right?

If Snorri the Unhinged thought he had rallied where he and his Gyrocopter were beyond the reach of the Savage Orcs, he proved to be sadly mistaken. Seeing him halt his retreat, da Red Faces immediately raised their crude weapons and bellowed another charge, however this proved optimistic and they staggered to a halt not far from where they had started. This did not dissuade da Kleenskins however, who let their frenzy get the better of them and also rushed forward. Snorri held his ground, however this time the Orcs judged the distance correctly and crashed straight into him! He frantically pulled out his hammer and flailed about himself, trying to protect his fragile machine. He landed one lucky blow on the skull of one of the Savages, and just about managed to fend off the worst of the enemy attacks. All they succeeded in doing was pulling non-vital components off the Gyrocopter, such as the fail-safe valve and safety gauge – things he never used anyway. Encouraged by his relative success, Snorri decided not to flee from the swarming mass of crazed Orcs in front of him, holding his ground and taking the chance to shout a few choice insults at them instead.

I got this...

The Dwarf lines eye off Snorri's new friends

Little Foot was pleased with how matters were proceeding, but was not about to miss the opportunity to have some fun himself. He gathered his powers to cast Hand of Gork once more, however this time the Dwarf Runesmith made some sort of arcane gesture (something along the lines of “talk to the hand”), and the energies were dissipated harmlessly. Little Foot grunted, but was not overly concerned. After all, Gork's hand was by no means his favourite body part... With another wildly enthusiastic ritual, he again summoned the Foot of Gork with irresistible force. The great, knobbly green foot materialised once more, this time over the heads of the Iron Guard who looked up in obvious concern. However, they need not have been so worried as Gork wasn't really paying attention and his stomp strayed far from its original target, straight onto the head of Will the Mangler Squig instead! Fortunately it was only a glancing blow, but even so Little Foot looked around a little shamefacedly to see if any of his underlings had noticed his carelessness. None of them had, but even so he decided he might have to stop casting that spell for the moment (that, or he had forgotten it due to his loss of control. The story varies depending on whom you ask).

Having reassured themselves that their machine was in fact free of corrosive Troll drool, the crew of the remaining Rock Lobber focused once more on the task at hand and took aim at the Dwarf Organ Gun. With a remarkably accurate shot, they landed their heavy rock directly on top the machine. Their cheers of self-congratulation were short-lived however, as they saw one of the Dwarfs leap atop the machine and intercept the rock with his bare head! Skurri Stonenut was renowned for the reputed hardness of his head, although until now this had been little more than idle boasting in the tavern. Now he had shown for all to see what a hard Dwarf he really was! The hurtling rock shattered upon his iron noggin, and the Organ Gun was saved! The Goblins were left squawking in disbelief, whilst several Orcs looked on in obvious admiration and squeezed their own skulls wonderingly. 

You can read the next turn here.