Thursday, 25 March 2021

The Cleansing of the Rear Passage (Part 2)

This is the second part of the battle report Cleansing of the Rear Passage. You can find the first part here.

Orc and Goblin Turn 3

The Orc advance continues, except over on the far left where the arguments are just getting worse...

Tuesday, 23 March 2021

The Cleansing of the Rear Passage (Part 1)

A Warhammer Fantasy 8th edition battle report with Tim Stewart


"My queen, we are still having issues with the Rear Passage."

Queen Bellicosa stomped to a halt in front of the Ironbreaker as he gave his report. She was already clad in her ancestral armour. He favourite axe was slung casually over one shoulder. Behind her marched dozens of her best warriors.

"I know," she said matter-of-factly. "That is why I am here."

From around the far corner, a chorus of hooting and huffing announced the hurried arrival of a band of Slayers. At their head was a particularly muscular individual with a huge green crest of hair and an obvious lack of wits. Seeing the assembled Dwarfs in front of hum, he skidded abruptly to a halt, causing those behind him to collide in an undignified mess. Muffled curses and threats could be heard from the lower levels of the pile of orange hair, muscle and weapons. Their leader seemed not to hear or care.

"You're not going without us are you?" he demanded of the Queen. At least, that was what she thought he said. It was a little hard to understand him, given he had no teeth. Legend had it that he had crushed all the teeth from his head eating rocks on a dare.

Bellicosa simply shook her head. She had little time for Barri Stonechewer and his band of suicidal fools, but they might prove useful if they encountered something nasty during their expedition. The hold could not afford for this mission to go ill. Although the hold of Karak Nong's main gate emerged in the mountain passes high overhead, most traffic heading to the other nearby holds passed underground. 

With the rear passage blocked, life would soon become uncomfortable.

She hefted her axe and turned toward the gate. "The passage must be cleansed. Open the back door."


Right, so it was my first time back at the games club in an entire year, thanks to a combination of COVID19 restrictions and common sense. Tim and I decided to play a game of Warhammer, and then I took enough photos that I figured I might as well turn it into a battle report.

Dork's Uninvited Green Guests (Tim)

  • DW Dork Wildthrasher
    Black Orc Warboss with Battleaxe of the Last Waaagh, Heavy Armour, Shield
    263 points
  • BSB Ruglub the Collector
    Black Orc Big Boss with Battle Standard, Heavy Armour, Dragonhelm, Ironcurse Icon, Talisman of Protection, Shield
    145 points
  • W Wuzzup
    Orc Shaman (Level 2)
    100 points
  • OBU 25 Orc Big'Uns
    Shields, Light Armour, Full Command
    260 points
  • SO1 20 Savage Orcs
    Additional Hand Weapons, Full Command
    215 points
  • SO2 20 Savage Orcs
    Additional Hand Weapons, Full Command
    215 points
  • BO 20 Black Orcs
    Heavy Armour, Lots o Weapons, Full Command
    275 points
  • T 5 Trolls
    175 points
  • SH1 8 Squig Hoppers
    96 points
  • SH2 8 Squig Hoppers
    96 points
  • RT 8 River Trolls
    360 points
  • MT Massive Troll
    200 points
  • Total: 2400 points
Knowing that we were going to be playing in the caves, Tim avoided fielding any artillery, chariots or cavalry. He also ended up not getting any  mangler squigs because he wanted to field lots of trolls. Especially once he saw that I had nearly finished a really big one that he could use as a giant. He also elected to generally avoid goblins, given the Gob-Off is yet to be resolved and that uses enough goblins for everyone...

His list is intentionally not too carefully tuned - we had agreed not to field anything like souped-up unkillable characters. The magic items were an afterthought, which means it's quite impressive that he managed to stuff a 100 point magic weapon on his mostly naked general...

Bellicosa's Dwarf Doormen (Me)

  • QB Queen Bellicosa
    Dwarf Lord with Gromril Armour, 2 Runes of Fortitude, Rune of Stone, Great Weapon
    206 points
  • SS Snuggi Softensson
    Dwarf Thane with Battle Standard, Gromril Armour, 2 Runes of Iron, Rune of Stone, Great Weapon
    146 points
  • BS Barri Stonechewer
    Dragon Slayer
    70 points
  • LB 20 Longbeards
    Heavy Armour, Shields, Great Weapons, Full Command
    330 points
  • Q 16 Quarrellers
    Heavy Armour, Shields, Great Weapons, Dwarf Crossbows, Full Command
    270 points
  • T 16 Thunderers
    Heavy Armour, Shields, Dwarf Handguns, Full Command
    238 points
  • IB 20 Ironbreakers
    Gromril Armour, Shields, Full Command
    310 points
  • ID 16 Irondrakes
    Forge-proven Gromril Armour, Drakguns, Full Command
    270 points
  • S1 10 Slayers
    Array of Axes, 1 Giant Slayer
    132 points
  • S2 10 Slayers
    Array of Axes, 1 Giant Slayer
    132 points
  • M 12 Miners
    Heavy Armour, Great Weapons, Standard, Prospector
    140 points
  • OG Organ Gun
    Rune of Forging, Rune of Burning
    150 points
  • Total: 2394 points
For my part, I had decided to field a lord on foot (which you wouldn't normally do because shieldbreakers are a no-brainer). I went with blocks of 20 warriors and decent-sized units of missile troops, given they can fight in combat too. I did take a single war machine, but didn't make it too fancy with an engineer or anything. Just keeping it simple. I really need to paint up some more miners. I feel like an underground game should really have lots of them. Oh well, job for later.


You'll have to forgive the map. I made it using an ancient Java applet that Pete managed to revive for planning cave maps. It does the job, I think... Hey, at least you got a map. You're spoilt, really.

Monday, 15 March 2021

I have a War Wagon!

As someone who grew up playing Warhammer in 4th and 5th edition, I find nostalgia for that period to be very strong. I read every battle report and article in White Dwarf, and pored over the pictures. Every time I pick up an old model to paint it, I am conflicted about whether to paint it in a (rather dull) manner that is coherent with my existing forces, or to surrender to my baser urges and paint it exactly as it appeared in those magazines...

I didn't play Empire back in those days, but I have since accumulated enough of the older models that I have this same issue when I'm painting them. I find myself wishing that my stuff looked like the old studio armies, so that I could properly recreate the vibe of that era. I haven't given in yet, but the urge is there. In a similar vein, it has bothered me for years that I didn't have a War Wagon. They were a fixture in the Empire army photos of the time, and it always felt like a gap. This is of course rather silly of me - there haven't been rules for a War Wagon in an Empire book since the 4th/5th edition one. So it's not like I had a functional gap in any list I cared to make. But that didn't stop me really wanting one. And any time I saw one for sale online, they went for an eye-watering amount of money. I have a stupid amount of stuff, but I still don't really see myself as a collector, and hence I have issues with paying what can only be considered collector-level prices.

Well, in recent times I have finally had the means to do something about my terrible need for useless War Wagons! In actual fact, I've done a couple of things. First there was a Norba kickstarter with some suitably retro-looking War Wagons that I backed. With the last year being what it has been, I'm not entirely sure when those models will arrive. And then along came another option, in the form of 3d printable files from Magori Miniatures. This would mean I could print unlimited War Wagons!! So I could really double down on my largely unusable models. This was perfect. I had to do it. And so I did. I became a patron, and I printed 2 War Wagons. Just the 2, so far. But I can always make more...

Of course, I say I printed 2, but so far I have only painted 1 of them. The other awaits assembly. And there are some learnings from this one that may or may not be acted upon.

A War Wagon by Magori Miniatures, with traditional GW barded warhorses. At the time, the wagon only came with unbarded horses and that didn't fit the traditional vibe I was going for. So I stole the horses from elsewhere. There is muttering coming from one of my bags of unassembled knights, I think... Amusingly, the designer added some barded horses maybe one day after I stuck this all together.