Wednesday, 22 June 2022

Dwarves are slow

When you are a Dwarf, you are slow. You move slow. Eat slow. Paint slow. The only thing you do fast is drinking and writing down grudges. And since I don't drink (not being a very good Dwarf), I obviously just need to focus on my grudge writing...

As bad as I am at some aspects of being a Dwarf, I have been doing a very good job of painting slowly. A nice slow Dwarf in a slow grow painting league is pretty much a guaranteed recipe for glacial progress. It has been 20 days since my last progress update, and my progress in that time has indeed been slow and steady. Mainly slow. Only a bit steady...

Since the previous update, I have completed the first 12 of my Kyoushuneko Longbeards. I have also made moderate progress on the next 6, having sensibly broken up the second half of the unit in order to make the process a little less painful. I probably told myself it'd mean more frequent updates here, but well... anyone can make a mistake. 

12 fully painted longbeards, ready to take the field. Once they can find enough friends for it to be worth taking them to the field, anyway.

The next wave, which includes the unit's command group. Probably should have started with them, but they feel like extra work.

I'm now feeling like I've fallen well behind on the painting timeline. I'm not going to lie - the fact that Pete is probably the only one still properly on course does affect my momentum a bit. I'm still telling myself I'll speed up again after I've worked my way through these Longbeards. I do have a Runesmith and Flame Cannon undercoated and floating around alongside the remainder of this unit, but unless I have a real burst of productivity, it's likely to take me a while to work through all of that.

I've still been playing the odd game with my army, although the pattern of using units from outside the slow grow seems to be persisting for now. I played Noakes' Ogre Kingdoms army in what is probably his first game of Warhammer in... I have no idea how long. Obviously I would smash someone so rusty, right. Right...?

I took proper Ungrim Ironfist again, and planted him and his slayers right across from the main bulk of the Ogre army.
What I didn't take is any real amount of artillery - just a couple of bolt throwers almost as an afterthought. I did have irondrakes with vanguard. I still like that combination, but they didn't have a whole lot of support in this case.
Eww, an ironblaster. Lucky I have basically no good targets for it. Or... any real way of getting rid of it.
That forest is occupied by some leadbelchers led by a firebelly.
Mournfangs right out on the flank
I failed to get the first turn, and the irondrakes found themselves with a regiment of Ogres right up in their faces. 
The leadbelchers managed to shoot a quarter of the unit off as well. It was not the best start to their game.
I did what any sensible Dwarf would do, and fired... Actually no, I decided charging with elite profile of the irondrakes would actually yield better results, so engaged them immediately.
The gyrocopter flew up to block the mournfangs, and then the thunderers fired into the unit.
Ungrim led the shuffle toward the ogres at maximum Dwarf waddling pace.
The irondrakes embarrassed themselves very badly in the combat. Somehow they lost 7 of their own number, and killed nobody. Happily my dreadful rolling carried on into the break test, and we held our ground.
The mournfang situation went better, as the thunderers killed one, panicked them, and they headed for the table edge. They then failed to rally, and the gyrocopter scared them from the field with a charge.
For some reason the main Ogre line was hesitant to come close enough to give the Dwarfs an easy charge. Little did they know...
The irondrakes failed to hold after a second round of combat and were caught as they fled. But that was OK, I could avenge them and generally swing things in my favour with a good set of charges. Behold my charge rolls! The best I could manage was a 4. None of them were enough. 
Somewhat bizarrely, the ironguts led by the tyrant and BSB then failed their charge in the following turn. I guess it helped that I had only closed the gap by 1"...
The ogres that had disposed of my irondrakes were better at charging than their commanders, and moved out of the forest and into my quarrellers.
This could be OK. If the quarrellers held (and I didn't do too much damage with their great weapons), the ironbreakers would have a clear path to their flank.
Nope. Not even close. Looks like we killed 1 ogre, and lost... Well, everyone really.
That was a bit depressing, but now I got to charge with Ungrim again. And fail again... What was going on? I know Dwarfs are slow, but come on!
At this point the ogres finally ran out of patience with our silly dance-off, and charged both of my regiments at once.
The slayers would die very quickly, but Ungrim faced off in a challenge with the enemy tyrant, who it turned out had all the tricks (Trickster's Helm, Other Trickster's Shard), and no saves. It should have been easy. Somehow it was not.
All his friends were gone, but Ungrim was determined to make really hard work of this naked tyrant. Ungrim would eventually lose this fight and die, after landing 3 wounds over 3 rounds of combat. Mind you, that's 3D3 wounds. So... 3 wounds. Sigh.
Whilst this was happening, the ironbreakers took the flank charge well enough thanks to their oathstone, then turned to face their assailants and made threatening noises at them rather than bothering to draw their weapons. I'm pretty sure the BSB was about the only one doing any damage.
Look at this! This was a successful charge! How did I achieve this, you may ask? By getting so close I didn't need to roll dice, the same as the irondrakes had done. Those were the only 2 charges I made all game. Stumpy Dwarf legs are no joke.
The gyrocopter actually beat the leadbelchers in combat, but didn't manage to break them. The longbeards on the hill just sat back and watched. I mean, it's possible they tried to charge. It was hard to tell the difference in this game.
The ogres that had dealt with the irondrakes and quarrellers returned to dispose of the bolt thrower.
I had been losing the game right from the start, but I finally conceded when my BSB lost combat to the now much-depleted ironguts (I think due to the musician), and rolled "properly" for her break tests. Aww yeah.

Well that was a very depressing game. The only thing that actually got me any victory points was the gyrocopter, when it chased the mournfangs from the field. I'm afraid the dice did not love me. Maybe this was punishment for using too many non-slow grow models. Who knows? Let it be known that I am writing grudges quickly to compensate for how slowly I am painting. And charging.


  1. Replies
    1. Any victory worth celebrating can only be achieved slowly. And probably accidentally.