Tuesday, 6 November 2012

Quiz: Are you a wargamer?

I found this quiz on a couple of other blogs (Napalm Elf & Rebel Scum was where I spotted it first), and thought it would be a bit of fun. Here is how I did...

To genuinely call yourself a Wargamer, then you must have done most or all of the following:

Spent at least $1000 on figures/vehicles/monsters and you get extra kudos for every $1000 you've spent
Ah, well. Starting strongly here, I see. I would say that over the last 22 years I've probably spent $10,000 on models. It's not even that much when you space it out on a yearly basis, but it sure adds up. (10 points)

Covered your fingers in layers of superglue to the point where you can no longer bend themI'm normally a bit more restrained than that, but it has happened. And sometimes fingers are used to rescue other more valuable things when things go wrong... (1 point)

Tried at least 10 different rule sets and vowed never to play half of them ever againI doubt it. 10 rule sets? Seems like a lot. Ignoring different editions and boardgames like Blood Bowl, I have tried: Warhammer, 40K, Battletech, Space Marine/Titan Legions, Necromunda, Mordheim, Man O War, Warhammer Ancients (once), Hordes of the Things, several completely home-made rule sets... OK, yeah I probably qualify here. (1 point)

Bought an army off EBay/TradeMe Never a fully painted army, but I have bought bundles of stuff that were certainly entire armies in their own right. (1 point)
Sold an army on EBay/Trade Me No. I do not sell. I hoard it all, put it in a massive crunchable pile in the middle of my cave, and then sleep on it. Dragon-style. (0 point)

Spent months painting an army - then used it in anger once I'd count my Dwarfs here. Painted up the army in preparation for a tournament, used them at that tournament, and they've really been gathering dust since. They were not really my style. (1 point)

Tried several different periods/genres or different army books. Yeah, I have this well and truly covered. (1 point)

Dropped a box of figures on the floor from a great heightYeah, it sucks. Don't do it. (1 point)

Lost a battle on the last throw of the dice Sure, heaps of times. Random turn length in particular is a killer. And then there was Njal Stormcaller using a psychic attack to win a 15,000pt game of Epic on a 4+. Stupid Njal. (1 point)

Had a proper, stand up argument over a wargamers table Just about. I've had situations where neither of us would back down, and someone else had to be called in. I have never lost such an argument* (1/2 point)
*This may or may not be true...

Thrown a dice across a room Sure, but my opponent was a slippery sucker and would not stand still long enough for the dice to make proper contact. We lost a lot of dice in his old gaming room... (1 point)

Repainted an entire army simply because
Yes and no. I've repainted plenty of stuff, but I've never picked up an entirely completed army and decided to re-do it. (1/2 point)

Inflicted a whopping defeat on an opponent
Yeah, a number of times I've wiped people out without conceding points. Only once do I recall doing it without losing a model. (1 point)

Suffered an embarrassing defeat due to a stupid tactical decision
It's happened once or twice. There was the time my High Elf unit turned its back on a unit of Ironbreakers so the mage could get line of sight on a Gyrocopter. The Dwarfs were all of about 4 inches away. I still, to this day, don't know how I managed that. (1 point)

Purchased a ton of models that remain unpainted
Thousands. (1 point)

Been to a wargamers show/tournament
Not many shows, but a whole lot of tournaments. (1 point)

Dressed up in costume while attending a wargaming show/tournament
I don't think so. I am a slightly more reserved/cowardly individual - not really the sort that gets all dressed up so people can point and laugh. (0 points)

Have more dice than is logical or necessary to own - and have used most of them
Sure, I have countless dice. Some were purchased specifically, but a lot came in boxed sets or just accumulated in my box when people didn't want them. (1 point)

Have taken boxes of troops down to a club just to show them off to your mates
Yeah, I've done this. Mainly when there was something I was buying or painting and people knew about it, but hadn't seen it. (1 point)

You have reference books on each period / army you play or for WHFB/40k relevant fiction.
Sure, I have tons of books floating around. Not everything ever made, but more than my share. (1 point)

You have lied to your partner / spouse about how much you've spent on the hobby
No, I don't think so. But then, I have a very understanding and supportive wife. (0 points)

You get genuinely excited when a package arrives in the posts
Yeah, it's a bit exciting. I don't normally do a little dance, but sometimes it's a close thing. (1 point)

You get those packages sent to your work/parents rather than your home address so you can sneak the extra models home slowly without your wife/husband/partner finding out how much you spent
No, I don't have to do this. We lucky few. (0 points)

You have returned from a wargames show/tournament and sneaked upstairs to hide the stash.
No, if I come back with something from an event like that, I'm probably doing the whole stereotypical girl shopping thing of "look how much I saved!". Also, more often than not she was at the event at some point. Would require extra trickery... (0 points)

You have an irrational aversion to some genres and vow never to play them regardless of how much fun they look
Steam Punk. It's a thing. It's just not my thing. Same with genuine historical stuff. High fantasy and full-on sci fi for me. (1 point)

You have made your own wargames scenery.
Yeah, generally en-masse in recent times. (1 point)
You have reached a painting 'wall' 
Sure. At times I just have no enthusiasm, or would rather be doing something else. Occasionally I have burned myself out, too. (1 point)

You have lost - and regained - your wargaming mojo.
Yes. I stopped playing Warhammer at the end of school. I reckon everything lay untouched in a cupboard for at least 6 months. Then, of all things, I got a girlfriend (now my wife) and she found the stuff and asked about it, and I walked her through a game. Soon after that we were entering tournaments, starting a games club... It all feels kind of backwards. (1 point)

You have the occasional (and short lived) sense of guilt with your wife/children when complaining to them about the money spent in clothes, shoes or toys/Xbox games when you have $200 of unpainted metal stuffed in an upstairs drawer.
$200? Ah, that is so quaint. Yes, I try not to think about how expensive things are when I have so much unpainted/unused stuff waiting in the wings. I don't exactly have the moral highground there. (1 point)

You have jealously coveted someone else's troops.
Sure. There are some awesome things out there. (1 point)

You have laughed (secretly or otherwise) as someone else's paint job
I have, but it's not something I do maliciously. There was the time a friend dipped a Dwarf head-first into a pot of pink paint. He came out so well. So did Angron, who met with a spraycan and henceforth became known as Blobgron. Even soaking him in turps didn't help... (1 point)

You have provided a piece of useless trivia relating to the troops on the table to show off your wargaming knowledge
This is not really my thing, but I'm pretty sure I've done it. (1 point)
You have contradicted someone elses' trivia - demonstrating your superior knowledge and giving you a warm glow inside.
Yeah, I've done that. But people are so often wrong - it's really not my fault. (1 point)

You have caused a major disaster on a wargames table (spilling a pint, collapsing the table, dropped someone else's figures on the floor).
Yeah, I've done this. Spilling things is small-time, though. I did set up a table that collapsed at a tournament, with neither of the crushed armies belonging to me. The perfect crime... (1 point)

You have cheered and/or danced a jig when an opponent's dice lets them down at a critical point
Of course. This is what dancing, cheering and gloating are for. Followed by grand sweeping claims of how it was your impressive tactical prowess that carried the day (1 point)

You have lied to your partner about going gaming.  "Mothers' not very well - just popping around to see her. I'll be back in about - oh - seven hours".
I don't think so. See previous comments regarding my supportive spouse. (0 points)

You have lied to an attractive woman (man) - not your partner - about being a wargamer. 
I don't think so. I have certainly been embarrassed about it, but I don't think I ever actually tried to hide it. (0 points)

You have made an opponent cry.  It doesn't count if they are under 8 years old though.
Yes, I have. And I felt terrible. There have also been times it was a close thing, and desperate efforts were made to avert the imminent tears. Hasty and poor decisions (following by inevitable failure and a slight levelling of the playing field) are a good option. (1 point)

You have collected and painted multiple armies of the same type
Yeah. I still wonder at the inefficiency of it all. (1 point)

You have reference or official source books on armies you haven't even got.
Yes, I do have some. But then I have a fair library of stuff. (1 point)

You have bought figures for a game/army/historical period you have never and will never play - because they were cheap
Yes, I have. A bargain is a bargain, after all. I generally find a use for at least some of it, at some point. (1 point)

You have inflicted grievous bodily harm on a dice that has let you down
I think I have tried, but they're really tough. I've never successfully done serious damage to the offending dice. (0 points) 

You blog or have a web-page about your Wargaming activities
No. I would never do such a thing. And you are in no way reading this right now. There are not the droids you're looking for... (1 point)

Your book collection is almost all war, wargames, Sci-Fi or Fantasy related
Yes, and it always has been. (1 point)

You critique 'war' and 'fantasy' movies (especially Hollywood movies) for historical/gaming accuracy.
I do, although not so passionately as a lot of people do. (1 point)

You spend car / train journeys checking out the lie of the land - considering which way you would attack from and whether it would make good wargaming terrain.
I haven't done a lot of analysing terrain from a tactical perspective. I may have on occasion. I have certainly looked at things and wondered whether I could make them in miniature... (1 point)
Total 46/48 (96% Wargamer!)

Well, that sort of thing is always amusing. I got a lot of points through sheer longevity and accumulated experiences over the last 20+ years of gaming, but lost a few through a lack of secretive behaviour around my wife. When all is said and done though, I am fairly thoroughly a gamer.


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  2. I only scored 23.5/48, but then I didn't bother to calculate how many thousands I have spend, and just called is $2000, which is porbably low.
    Thing it, the quiz assumes you have a partner to lie to (I don't so I drop about 10 points right there!).

    And it only gives one measley point for making terrain.

    (I deleted the original post - I'd typoed it to 23.5%, not 23.5/48 - this is a big difference!)

  3. I'll give this a whirl on the morrow. I suspect I am a wargamer too.
    Obvious quiz is obvious! And fun.